LOUD ‘N’ NASTY – Teaser Teaser

Loud N Nasty’s Teaser, Teaser has Perris Records taking us back on another journey to the past, one full of lots of pomp and very little circumstance. In this case, a Swedish sleaze and glam rock band Loud N Nasty bludgeon us with the kind of music that went away with a fight and is now clawing its way back on the scene. Teaser, Teaser is a typical hair metal CD, and in this case, typical means “kick ass.”

One of the funniest things about this kind of music is when band members take on pseudonyms. Unlike the pseudo-intellectual slant taken by bands like Lost Horizon, naming themselves Ethereal Magnanimus, they instead name themselves T-Bone, Chris Loud and of course, Rob Nasty. Ain’t it great?

Of course, it’s all about fun. And from the opening track, “Teaser,” that’s what you get. Melodic, chugging, sex-focused metal. From the first words, “she goes down, down,” well, you know what you are in for. This song sounds quite a bit like Ratt circa 1984, but the production is much clearer. In fact, you’ll find yourself drawing comparisons to Stephen Pearcy often throughout the CD.

If you checked out the Metal Express jukebox a couple weeks ago, you had the chance to hear “Annie.” If not, go play it now … we’ll wait. OK, now you’ve heard it. Lead singer Nasty does his strongest singing on this track. When he sings in a lower range, it sounds heartfelt, and as his voice gets higher, the edge is back and the crescendo to the chorus flat out works. Now, this kind of song hasn’t been in the Top 10 in about a decade, but that doesn’t mean it can’t find its way back. This is glam metal done right.

“If You Wanna Rock” (of course!) greets us with a cool drum beat and sharp guitars. By this point in the CD, you may find Nasty’s vocals starting to sound repetitive. He seems to have found a “safety zone” in the harder songs and doesn’t try to vary his voice. Of course, on the other hand, he almost always sings within himself and you don’t hear him trying to sing notes he can’t physically hit. Meaning, he knows what he can and can’t do, which is a good thing.

One song that branches away from their party and sex-capades is the track “After the War,” which begins with acoustic guitar, and leads into a mellow electric guitar solo. This instrumental is a welcome change, and slows the album down just in time to go nuts on the next song, “Saturday Night.” The lyrics, “Saturday night, town to town, come on come on come on!” sort of says it all. Not their strongest composition.

The last few songs on the CD are all good, but not great. “Hollywood Dream” has an understated guitar intro and vocals that you’ve heard before. “Kick ‘N Fight” is better, another upbeat, happy tune, with a catchy as hell chorus. Finally, they end things with a simplistic power balled called “Help Me,” with Nasty finally stretching to the upper ranges of his vocals, probably the one time he takes a chance. It works.

You know these guys would be a riot to see live, and you won‘t find fault with any of the musicianship on this CD. Also, glam metal can’t be honestly portrayed on disk, no matter how great your stereo is. Teaser, Teaser is arena rock, lives up to its name of being “loud n nasty,” and although this sort of music has seen its time come and go, it’s really up to you make it all relevant again. So pick up Teaser, Teaser and get things moving in the right direction …