BIG COCK – Year Of The Cock

The name of the band is Big Cock. The name of the foursome’s debut album is Year Of The Cock, and it includes songs entitled “Bad Motherfucker,” “Take It Off,” “Hard To Swallow,” and “You Suck The Love Out Of Me.” And yes Virginia, there is a title track. The album’s back cover art is a drawing of a hot chick in leather straddling a large candle. The come-hither look on her face is serene, which is remarkable considering she has hot wax – white, naturally – splattered on her large, round breasts.

In case you hadn’t figured it out yet, this ain’t subtle stuff. At least Big Cock gives you an idea of what sort of listening experience you’re in for just by looking at their CD: they obviously understand the importance of packaging. In the case of Year Of The Cock, you can judge a book by its cover.

Big Cock’s music is just as straightforward and direct as their name and image: Year Of The Cock is thirteen no-nonsense, hard-rocking tracks devoted to sex, boozing it up, punching people in the face, sex, being a badass, kicking people in the balls, driving fast, and sex, often with more than one person at a time. Big Cock is all about down and dirty bar-room Rock ‘n’ Roll and having a good time, and if you don’t like their message, they just might bash you over the head with a guitar and steal your girlfriend.

Big Cock is fronted by former Lynch Mob and Cry Of Love vocalist Robert Mason, and he gives the band a lot of personality and swaggering attitude; he’s the sort of guy you’d want on your side in a back alley brawl. Mason’s singing is one of the high points of Year Of The Cock: he infuses the songs with conviction and brashness. You can almost see him devilishly smirking as he playfully snakes his way around the entendre-laden lyrics, and when he crowns himself the “King of Cool” on the same-named song, you believe him.

But fear not, ladies: Big Cock is a sensitive band that respects your needs and feelings. Just check out the ballad “Carrie’s In Love” for proof. Want more proof? Then listen to the touching and tender “Hard To Swallow,” a painful ode to … well, figure it out. Okay, maybe “Hard To Swallow” isn’t a good example of sensitive and introspective songwriting, but still, it’s one of the most sly, deceptively-funny Rock songs of the year.

The other “name” member of Big Cock is guitarist Dave Henzerling, who saw time in bands like King Kobra and Lizzy Borden. He lays down a lot of effective rough-edged riffs on Year Of The Cock. His playing is solid and suits the songs well. The rhythm section of John Covington on drums and John Colby on bass do a good job keeping time, even though their playing doesn’t jump out at you.

Year Of The Cock is a good time, but like all good times it ends too quickly: of the 13 tracks here, only one is longer than three minutes, and album-ender “Thank You, Good Night” is only 25 seconds in length. Not much staying power (the entire album has a playing time of about 34 minutes), but that’s why CD players have “repeat” buttons.

Big Cock proudly – and loudly, no doubt – declare themselves to be “The hardest band in the land.” Are they? Unknown, but Year Of The Cock is a rock-solid point in their favor. Fans of old-fashioned Hard Rock should check them out.